It’s a Wonder, all right…..

I really don’t know if I can do a blow by blow on this one. Short story is that this is without a doubt one of, if not the most gob-smackingly bad collectibles I have ever seen from a major toy company. Gob. Smackingly. Bad.

So bad in fact, that Mrs AFB, who doesn’t know Aquaman from Spiderman from the Invisible Woman, and never has much more to say than “That’s nice, dear” when I show her my new acquisitions, has not been able to stop criticising this poor Diana wannabe. My youngest, who takes a great interest in my toys and has been waiting for “The Big Wonder Woman” ever since I started my DCD 13” collection, looked at this one and then asked me sweetly if I would be able to get my money back. Out of the mouths of wives and babes…..

To deconstruct the 13” Wonder Woman trainwreck, we need to start with the adult female buck for this line. My big gripes are that the bust is too big to allow for easy fitting of most costumes, and there’s nothing good to say about the lower half of these ladies. The knobbly knees and frightful thigh cuts that really don’t lend themselves to stockings are bad enough, but we also have the hideous hips with gaps between the hips and legs that cause the panty-style outfit to bunch so unattractively. Characters like Catwoman or Batgirl who have full bodysuits can cover these issues, but poor Wondy is exposed on all levels.

The sins of the body are enough to deal with, and then DCD presents us with the dog of all headsculpts. There’s nothing right about this one – hair, nose, mouth, all wrong, but the eyes are the killer here. Too small, uneven, glistening in an off way, it’s all bad. Very different looking from the eyes on the figure used in the photos for the packaging. I think I well could have tolerated  this effort if the face was painted as per the packaging. As is, this is just a big fat bucket of fail, Georg Brewer style.

Having made such noise about waiting to release Wonder Woman to make sure he “got her right”, one has to look at this and ponder if Georg just gave up. I picked up my Blackest Night Wave One at the end of the week, and from these it’s quite clear that he can get things right when he has the motivation, and we all know how he loves his Lanterns.

The question is, can Georg really afford to be so point of interest in the quality of the product he oversees? Methinks not.

Oh, and I’ve heard and read dozens of comparisons of what this figure looks like, but my favourite has to come from Mrs AFB, who said: “She looks like some poor young girl with huge boobs who dressed up as Wonder Woman for a costume ball and then wet herself on the way to the party.”

Probably not what you were aiming for, Georg?

You can see more pics (if you can subject yourself to them) at Facebook, discuss this at the AFB Forum, and comment on this post to enter the October AFB Comment of the Month Contest.

Until next time!